Our Great Nation's Country

Our great nation’s country is celebrating yet another year of awesome. I love birthday parties, but I love them even more when it’s for America. It’s the one day out of the year everyone in this great land can say, “High-five buddy, you’re a winner”. It’s the one time a year where we might forget our entitlements and first world problems and just get together to have a good time. It’s a SPECIAL day where the bombs literally burst in the air (aka FIREWORKS, see what I did there?) and people try to out-do each other’s patriotism (RED, WHITE, AND AWESOME). I feel that. I resonate with that. I love that.  I am that. America and neon have no bounds to me; I see it and I MUST have it. If I found out you have neither, prepared to be surprise GIFTED and you’re welcome in advance. You needed those things and I will do my duty as a patriot to supply my good friends and fellow humans with our commonalities of bright, obnoxious, and safe colors with that of our great country’s nation because if that’s all we have… then I’m proud of the bonds that mend us all together. In which case, here is a middle-10 list of all things that are Americanly awesome (because the top 10 list is just too intense to talk about).

 The Top 10 Middle List of Americanly Awesome Things

*can also be found on the top 10 list of all things that are Americanly awesome.

1. Bacon. #duh #obvi #number1datingcriteria. It's like hydrate or die....just different.**

2. Channing Tatum: He and his abs get more awesome every day and he loves America*

(and this is LITERALLY my favorite part of this entire movie...that and you know when he's dancing...in sweatpants, and looking like he's about to propose to me any second...nbd)

3.  Starbucks…..EVERYWHERE: There have got to be more Starbucks’ than there are Walmarts. You can’t put a Walmart across from another Walmart unless one of those Walmarts is actually a neighborhood Market…then it’s totally ok. BUT you can put a Starbucks across from another Starbucks AND you can put yet another Starbucks inside of a Target or something fancy like that  across from another Starbucks (obviously you can’t put a Starbucks inside of a Walmart….haha that’s just silly). #drivethroughs #theyhavenewcupsthatfitanENTIREBOTTLEOFWINE.

4. The Backstreet Boys: ARE STILL PERFORMING AS IF THEY NEVER BROKE UP, AS IF THE 90’s and EARLY 2000’s NEVER LET THEM GO, AS IF THEY WERE ALWAYS COOL. #theywere #IstillloveN’Sync

5. OREOS: Birthday Cake and Peanut Butter had babies with Oreos and their new bundles of joy are AMAZING. I’M NOT KIDDING. CRACK. #mine. #AmericaEFFFFFYeah

6. Jimmy Johns: no explanation needed *
 

7. Commercials that have the same characters in them all the time so we can start to develop a relationship with them in our minds: M&M’s, Progressive’s Flo, the Most Interesting Man in the World, The Haverty Couch Couple, the Gieco Gecko, the All State “Are you In good Hands?" Guy,  Beer(duh), sexy people in perfume/cologne ads; it doesn’t matter if they aren’t the same they are all stupid attractive and literally make me feel like “YES, if I smell like that, I. WILL. Be like that.” #somanysmellssolittletime 

8.  Beer, Wine, and MUSIC FESTIVALS: Americans love Festivals like they love America itself. ANY excuse to FEST up our lives is just another excuse to have THE MOST FUN.*

9. Snap Chat: When used responsibly, it’s totally on the middle-10 list….I can’t stop snapping. 

10. 7/11 Free Slurpee Day: THIS IS JUST A FRIENDLY REMINDER THAT THIS SHIT IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER. You’re welcome.#THISisMYAmerica

So make good choices and stuff and keep being American....it looks good on you.